I’ve absolutely loved hearing all of your amazing responses to the first part of this story over the last week.
When I first started this blog that’s exactly what I was hoping it would do – open a conversation about all of life’s little challenges – and let’s face it, dating is a challenge.
Over the years, I’ve come to approach dates the same way I do job interviews – breathe and be prepared for anything…and I mean anything!
Because you truly never know what you’re going to get on both fronts – you could be interviewing for the most glamorous job (or so you think) but during the interview realise that it really wasn’t all that you had envisioned in your mind.
Dating is no different – he can be the most handsome, the most seemingly ‘perfect’ guy but turn out to be a complete shmuck.
And so, the list continues…
The ‘dreamer’…. with no dream in sight
I would like to start off by saying I think dreams are great, in fact dreams are 100% necessary to keep us going and build something extraordinary.
But make sure you know the difference between a dream and just a plain old lazy shmuck who sits on his toosh while you’re working like a dog.
To illustrate further…
- Between the ages of 20-50 no guy should be laying on the couch at 3 in the afternoon unless he is sick or on holidays.
- A tiny apartment where ‘we only need each other’- sounds like a cute and romantic idea…but here’s the reality – whether your apartment is tiny or the penthouse it still requires payments.
- Know the difference between a pipe dream and a dream with drive – it will save you a slot of tears, heartache and cash.
Many moons ago I was in relationship; he was handsome and had some adorable moments (few but they were there), he had ‘dreams’….and yet every day when I came home from work he was on the couch eating cereal out of the box.
Call it what you will ladies – but it doesn’t work.
Not too far off from the salesman – The planner takes it to a whole new level.
You know exactly who I’m talking about…he’s the guy who paints you the most amazing picture of this perfect life filled with glorious trips, experiences, gifts, babies, weddings.
You (as a wise woman) will stop at one point or another and say “this is really too good to be true” – and that’s when he’ll swoop in with “why? don’t you deserve to be happy…” – Classic!
I’m mortified to admit this but I have fallen into this trap a few too many times, I spent months listening to a guy telling me that I was ‘the one’, sending me photos of the most exquisite places with promises of holidaying there…I was totally hooked!
I mean how could you not be when someone paints the life you’ve always envisioned…
Here’s the problem….
The guy who wants to take you on the trip, buy you some flowers, marry you etc. doesn’t need to talk about it for days and months on end – in fact he should be spending that time booking the flights, picking you up for that road trip, sending you the damn flowers, because as the old-fashioned saying goes – ‘actions speak louder than words.’
The player you ‘think’ you can change….
If there is one thing I have learnt with absolute certainly is this…. you can’t make anyone (least of all a man) change if they don’t want to.
It all begins with the classic ‘let’s just start casual…. see how it goes, you never know….’
They even have clever manoeuvres to catch you off guard; meeting your friends, meeting your mum, sharing with you deep dark secrets to the point where you are so excited, you forget all sense of logic.
A post boys trip text message ‘it’s been fun hanging out, but I don’t want anything serious’ (yep…it happened)
Yes, I know we’ve all seen the movie or know a guy who knows a girl who’s cousin’s sister’s uncle’s friend got married to her casual 3am booty call – but really if you think about all the guy friends you have in your life, who are not even close to being ready for a commitment, how many of them would change without actually wanting to?
Sure, the second we saw George and Amal we thought miracles were officially possible – even more so after the baby announcement.
But the reality is a man has to love you, respect you and want to be with you in order to change his ways – it’s not something anyone can force.
Believe me when I say I know what I’m talking about, if I had a dollar for every time I thought I could change a guy’s ways…well let’s just say I’d be one rich woman.
Yep dating is anything but boring – what’s been some of your craziest experiences?
Leave your comments below, I would love to hear them!